this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
