Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
