I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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