I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Small penises have feelings too.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
