you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
