I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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