I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
