Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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