he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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