Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
