They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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