They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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