She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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