She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
