but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
