So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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