Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
