so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
