haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
