well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
