Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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