Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
