i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
