i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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