real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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