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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags

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• (818): View more from California

  Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again

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• (518): View more from New York

  The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."

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• (415): View more from California

  HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE

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