I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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