Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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