I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And then he peed in my hair
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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