is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
