so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
