Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm at about main and main street
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
