Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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