also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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