Jerry, you need to find god
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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