It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
