Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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