if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
