Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
