Kiss
Puke
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
