the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
