why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize