apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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