Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
