I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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