sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Randomize
