If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
