wake up i wanna do it froggy style
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
