I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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