Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
