If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
