DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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