i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
