**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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