i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
