Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
