You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
