It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
