dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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