They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Randomize