Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
