nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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