You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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